Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Chronicles of an Anointed Curling Iron...

In no way do I watch Oprah as much as I may give evidence to in this blog, but I have recognized within myself some "Oprah-like" qualities...

Periodically, I see within me her eye of determination, her perfect ability to liaise and entertain audiences of different backgrounds, but today... today, a whole new characteristic took hold... Today, my friends, I have OPRAH HAIR!!

Given the fact that I am a Child of God, I have acknowledged the CALL and PURPOSE of my curling iron (enter Baptist organ music here). It's a call similar to most, yet not like any other (big lady with outrageous church hat on pew 3 sings, "Weeeeeeeaaaylll"). It's a call that is specifically designed for ONE destiny... that destiny being MINE (congregation praises, "HEEEEY GLOOOOORAAAAY!)!

Yes, saints, the Lord has touched the ceramic vestiges of ConAir to mesh with the oil of Ultra Sheen for an outward expression of PERFECT praise upon my hair! E-tal-a-bo-shanda, I FEEL the HOLY GHOST right there (church runners take off in the sanctuary).

Yes, brethren and sisteren, GOD has placed an Oprah Spirit upon my head. He touched the ROOT and gave LIFE to EVERY strand! He BREATHED upon every hair follicle and GIRDED it with STRENGTH and ELASTICITY (congregation continues to praise)!

Yes! My GOD IS GOD! He is a GREAT and MIGHTY GOD, and I say to you, with bless-ed assurance, that such a blessing cannot be handled lightly; thus, I receive this mantle of impenetrable hair and accept the responsibility of maintaining it’s beauty!

I know that I began this Word without scriptural reference (ministers & lay leaders come to the altar), but I leave you with the 99th book of HAIR GENESIS. Read it for yourself and KNOW that it is RHEMA for your scalp and soul. GLORY TO GOD!

Oprah would be proud!

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