And so there I was... standing in line at the grocery store (impatiently, I might add, because you would have sworn that the person in front of me was paying in pennies), when Becky & her BFF Jill came to stand in line behind me. Now, I'm not one to eavesdrop (except for that one time in band camp... but I DIGRESS); however, the conversation they carried on about was surprisingly familiar. I listened intently, recognizing words and phrases that I'd either spoken or heard so many times throughout my life.
Becky, who was obviously flustered in frustration, articulated pain and anguish that I, stereotypically, did not deem characteristic of anyone in her age group or race prior to that moment. Yet, it became VERY clear to me that what I was hearing could not be categorized as a Black thing, or a White thing... or a "thing" for any other race. This was surely a collective dysfunction that has apparently proved itself to be a baffling reality for hundreds, if not thousands and millions of women across the world! What is this "thing"? It’s MEN!
Becky, who was obviously flustered in frustration, articulated pain and anguish that I, stereotypically, did not deem characteristic of anyone in her age group or race prior to that moment. Yet, it became VERY clear to me that what I was hearing could not be categorized as a Black thing, or a White thing... or a "thing" for any other race. This was surely a collective dysfunction that has apparently proved itself to be a baffling reality for hundreds, if not thousands and millions of women across the world! What is this "thing"? It’s MEN!
“He said he just wanted to be friends,” cried Becky, “So, I gave him his space, but as soon as I started dating someone else, he started calling and being more attentive than he had EVER been. THEN, when I started responding to his ‘attention’ he backed off and disappeared again! I’m tired of this (insert profanity here)! What does he want from me?"
JESUS, KEEP ME NEAR THE CROSS AND HOLD MY MULE UNTIL YOU RETURN IN THE RAPTURE!! Had Becky been a fly on the wall in my house?! Had she somehow tapped my cell phone to hear me make these very same statements and ask these VERY same questions to my BFFs so many times? I couldn’t believe I’d been this ignorant to think that no one else experienced such craziness but me! But my friends, in that moment, it was very apparent to me that the confusing nature of men is a universal language that transcends cultural boundaries; thus, making every female a sister in the battle for emotional victory!
Now, don’t get me wrong… It is not my intent to male-bash. That’s not my goal and I’m not a fan of such rantings. I’m one who (despite my experiences) still has HOPE! I BELIEVE that there ARE men out there who ARE clear on what it is that they want and aren’t afraid to be emotionally available to the process of love and relationships! What’s more, I’m SO sure that men feel just as confused about women… but I just want to ask these questions… What will it take for men and women to understand one another? What will it take to comprehend thoughts, wants, needs, emotions and expectations when it comes to relationships… and be READY to embrace the process and inner-workings of it all?
My turn in line came up and I wasn’t able to stick around long enough to find out if Becky ever got a definitive, comforting word of advice from BFF Jill, but if I had the opportunity to share my two cents, I’d simply turn around, put my hand on her shoulder in support, look her straight in the eyes and say, “Here… have a V8.”
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